Remember When?
by The Unheard Song
Summary: Remember when we were kits, playing in the nursery, tumbling and laughing, happy and carefree? Remember when we were kits, when we made a promise to train together and just be happy? Spottedleaf and Tigerstar reflect on each other. Two-chapter oneshot.
1. Spottedleaf: Disease

**This is kind of a oneshot, not a story! It's a oneshot with two chapters. XD When I read ****Firestar's Quest**** (one of the suckiest Warriors books), I realized that Tigerstar and Spottedleaf were brother and sister. I wondered how Spottedleaf felt about how Tigerstar killed cats and when he ordered Clawface to murder her, and how Tigerstar became bitter in the first place. The first chapter is Spottedleaf reflecting on Tigerstar, and the second is Tigerstar reflecting on Spottedleaf. **

**I will also include OC's, since I don't really know who their mother was, but I'll try to include younger versions of the warriors in the real series.**

**The chapters will be in first-person. If you don't like it, deal with it. **

--

Remember when we were kits, playing in the nursery, tumbling and laughing, happy and carefree?

I remember.

Remember when you were so excited about training together as apprentices?

I remember.

I'm sure you remember. Isn't that what gnawed at your heart, all through your apprenticehood, through your warriorhood?

It must've. That's why you killed all those innocent cats. You caused the death of so many cats…Redtail, Swiftpaw, Brindleface, Stonefur, Bluestar, Lionheart…and more. You caused Ravenpaw to leave ThunderClan. You caused Brightheart's face to be ravaged.

You caused the death of me.

Don't you realize this?

Don't you care at all?

Of course you don't. You're dead. Am I supposed to be happy? Relieved? Sad? I don't know. At least, without you, there will be no more innocent deaths, no more innocent bloodshed, all because of you.

No, you don't even realize you killed me. It was your fault. You just don't want to admit it. It was pretty low to kill your own sister, or to at least cause her death, isn't it?

You don't know. You don't understand. I won't even explain. Figure it out on your own.

Tigerstar, that deep, bitter scar in your heart caused you to be power-hungry, to be willing to kill cats…

It's my fault. You were so excited about us training together, I remember. Let's flashback to that moment, shall we?

"_We're becoming apprentices today, did you hear, Spottedkit?" You bounced eagerly into the nursery, where I was curled up against Mother's belly. "I know, Tigerkit!" I squealed, smiling and twitching my whiskers._

_You launched yourself at me, bowling me away from Mother. "Be careful, Tigerkit!" Mother called, purring. "Don't unsheathe your claws."_

_I rolled over and let you pin me down against the ground. "I'm so excited! We're going to train together, and hunt together, and patrol together! We're going to do everything together, Spottedkit. We're becoming apprentices!" you exclaimed, your amber eyes gleaming with mischief and excitement._

"_All cats old enough to catch their own prey meet beneath the Highrock for a Clan meeting!"_

_That was Owlstar, calling us for our ceremony! We jumped to our paws. "I didn't get to clean you two!" Mother fretted._

"_It's okay, Mother," you assured, flicking your tail. "We look fine."_

_I purred and headed into the clearing. Most of the cats had gathered around the base of the Highrock, gazing up at Owlstar in waiting, or just talking quietly amongst each other._

"_There they are," Sunstripe purred. He was the deputy. Maybe he'd mentor you! That'd be amazing!_

_I noticed Featherwhisker wink at me, and my heart filled my chest. This was our moment._

"_Come up here, Tigerkit and Spottedkit," Owlstar called to us. "It's time for you two to become apprentices." Snowpaw and Bluepaw cheered, happy for us to join them in apprenticeship._

"_Tigerkit, do you promise to uphold the warrior code and defend your Clan, even at the cost of your lives?" Owlstar asked, staring at us with unblinking amber eyes._

"_I do!" you chirped. You were so excited…my heart sank._

"_Then by the powers of StarClan I give you your apprentice name. Tigerkit, until you earn your warrior name, you will be known as Tigerpaw. Thistleclaw, you are ready for your first apprentice. Pass all your knowledge and skills onto this apprentice."_

_You touched your nose to Thistleclaw's, eyes brimming with excitement and pride, and padded off the Highrock. I saw you sit beside your new mentor, watching me. I knew the truth would be hard for you to handle._

"_Spottedkit, you have chosen a different path than your brother," Owlstar continued. "The path of a medicine cat."_

_Your jaw dropped open; your eyes flew wide in despair and disappointment. I saw…anger in your eyes. Abhorrence, was it? _

"_Do you promise to uphold the ways of a medicine cat, stand apart from rivalry between Clan and Clan, and to protect all cats equally, even at the cost of your life?" _

_I glanced back at you. You were staring angrily at your paws, as if lost in thoughts and memories. What would happen if I said, "I don't"? I swallowed hard. My destiny was to be a medicine cat. StarClan was calling me to say the words._

"_I do."_

"_Then, by the powers of StarClan, I give you your medicine cat apprentice name," Owlstar announced. "Until you earn your medicine cat name, you will be known as Spottedpaw. Featherwhisker, it is time for you to have your own apprentice. Please pass on all you know about StarClan and your medical herbs onto Spottedpaw."_

_After the ceremony, you pulled me behind the nursery. "You lied!" You swiped an unsheathed paw at my ear. I ducked and whimpered, "I'm sorry, Tigerpaw. I…I didn't…I want to be a medicine cat."_

"_You broke your promise!"_

"_I'm sorry!"_

"_Sorry isn't good enough!"_

"_Tigerpaw…"_

"_Foxdung to you. Foxdung to the whole world! I hope every cat dies! I hope you die, you lying, promise-breaking piece of crowfood!" With that, you swung your head around and bounded away. I stared at my white paws, and noticed a drop of darker-colored soot, where you had been standing._

Now do you remember? You hated me because I didn't train with you. You became bitter towards every cat, even your apprentice, Darkpaw, who later became Darkstripe. The dark things you taught him were the things he taught his apprentice, Longpaw, and then Dustpaw.

The hatred…it's like a disease. A disease sucking the love and affection out of you, and replacing it with anger, bitterness, and…what's that? You're right. Loneliness.

--

**Uhh…how was that? Boring? I know. I personally think it will be harder writing about how Tigerstar feels about Spottedleaf. For now, just bear with me. Oneshots are hard to write.**

**xx-Starfall-xx**


	2. Tigerstar: Hate but Love

Wow, I got more reviews than expected

**Wow, I got more reviews than expected. I thought I'd only get about 2. XD**

**Glaciershine: Uh, thanks. **

**Josh: What? When did I make fun of Warrior name fics? They're against the ToS, which you should read before you post any stories to make sure you're not breaking it. But I'm sure reading is too hard for your level. –eyeroll-**

**Heartsong: Well, I guess. As a kit, Tigerkit was hyper and happier than any other kit, because he and Spottedkit were very, very close. I suppose he made her promise a million times that they'd try to be together at all times.**

**DanaeMari: Thank you.**

**Falling: Oh, yeah. –sweatdrop- I guess I should fix that later. I just wanted Bluepaw to have maybe a friend with her. Being an only apprentice, like Birchpaw would've been, is very rare, apparently. **

**Tigerstar's POV now. This is kind of like Tigerstar is talking to Spottedleaf, or something. Enjoy!**

--

Remember when we were kits, when we made a promise to train together and be happy?

I remember.

Remember when you promised? When you said those words, "I promise, Tigerkit"?

I remember.

I'm sure you remember as well.

Now I wonder what you think of me. Do you think of me as a heartless, cold, violent terrorist? Or as a brave, strong, ambitious brother?

Even as a kit, I thought about the possibilities of becoming deputy, or even leader. I loved that thought, and I hung onto it when my apprentice ceremony came around.

Did I ever tell you? Of course I did. You wanted to be my deputy. But then things changed…and you started talking nonsense about medicine cats. I reminded you of our promise, and you quit the foolishness. You _would _train with me, if your life depended on it. I couldn't bear to see you training as a medicine cat, and me as a warrior. We'd never see each other's progress, and you could never be my deputy.

But there you went, becoming Spottedpaw, becoming a medicine cat apprentice. As I, Tigerpaw, watched you learn about herbs and StarClan and such, I was learning how to hunt and fight. Surely I was having a better time training than you were?

No.

Why would I? I was alone. Bluepaw became a warrior a moon after I became an apprentice. You remember, don't you? Bluepaw's warrior ceremony? That evening when we finally got to talk to each other. That evening when we fought.

"_All cats old enough to catch their own prey meet beneath the Highrock for a Clan meeting!" There was Owlstar's call. I was just returning to camp with a mouse and a starling in my jaws. It was a fine new-leaf evening. The air was cool and windy, and it ruffled my dark tabby fur, showing my still developing muscles._

_And there you were. I could spot your beautiful dark dappled pelt from a crowd of tortoiseshells. Yours was…different. Prettier. Sleeker. Darker. I loved it. You got that from Mother._

"_Bluepaw, do you promise to uphold the warrior code and defend your Clan, even at the cost of your life?" Owlstar asked Bluepaw. The blue-gray apprentice's eyes shone with excitement. Beside me, Moonflower sat up straight and purred with pride for her daughter._

"_I do," was Bluepaw's response._

_I inched my way closer to you. You were sitting beside Featherwhisker, staring directly at Bluepaw. "Spottedpaw!" I poked you with a paw. You turned. I noticed your face brighten up in delight. You scooted a bit closer to Featherwhisker, making room for me to sit next to you._

"_Then by the powers of StarClan, I give you your warrior name." Owlstar lifted his head and gazed at the faint stars popping out of a sheet of black sky. "You will be known as Bluefur. StarClan honor your courage and strength, and we welcome you as a full warrior of ThunderClan."_

"_Bluefur! Bluefur!" The Clan cheered as Bluefur licked Owlstar's shoulder respectfully. _

_The ceremony was over. The warriors crept to their dens. Thistleclaw took his stand at the camp entrance. Owlstar and Sunstripe leapt off the Highrock and hurried to the leader's den to chat. Featherwhisker made his way into the medicine cat's den._

_You were about to follow Featherwhisker, but I placed my paw on your tail. You stood and fell to your paws. "Ouch! Tigerpaw!" You glared at me. "What do you need?"_

"_I…I'm sorry for blowing up at you," I muttered. "But you shouldn't have broken your promise. Why didn't you tell me you wanted to be a medicine cat?"_

_You stared at me, unblinking. That reminded me of Owlstar, with his huge amber eyes that stared everywhere without blinking. I wondered how he did that, instead of wondering what your reply would be._

"_Because!" You swung your head around and stared at your white paws. "When I said I wanted to be your medicine cat, I meant it! Then you reminded me of our promise…and all the thoughts of being a medicine cat shattered right out of my head…and then when I saw Featherwhisker…he was…he needed help…" _

"_Spottedpaw." I stopped you. "What in the name of StarClan are you talking about?"_

"_He needed to tend to a sick kit, but he needed herbs," you stammered, the words pouring out of your mouth like a creek. "He needed help. All those dreams and thoughts about being a medicine cat…they all crept back into my head. I was scared to tell you because…I didn't know if you would like it. I couldn't…I…can't think of us not being friends. I was scared. Just…I was scared!"_

"_You don't have any reason to be scared of me," I snarled. "You listen to me, and you listen well. Promises aren't meant to be broken, you understand that? You should've TOLD me! Don't you understand that, you mousebrain! You don't understand how I feel about you being a medicine cat! You didn't understand! You didn't care! You're such a piece of foxdung! You will rue the day you ever became apprenticed, you hear me? I…hate…you!"_

_My breath came out in ragged gasps as I choked out those words. Rage and loneliness rose into my chest and turned as cold as ice, as if it was freezing my heart. You looked terrified and sad. I dug my claws into the soot and repeated, "I…hate you!"_

Well, did you ever even wonder if I really meant those words? No. You never _cared_, did you?

What do you think of me now? Killing off innocent cats that get in my way?

Did you just mouth 'Stonefur'? He didn't get in my way, but half-Clans are unacceptable.

Yes, he _could_ have helped it, you badgerbrain. Don't question me! I don't question you. Well, maybe I just did. But don't question _me._

We'll have to figure this out some other time. I hear Darkstripe calling me. Isn't that Bluestar, just behind you?

Good-bye, Spottedleaf.

You…did you just say what I thought you said? Really, you mean it? Even if it's my fault you died? Okay, well…

I guess…

I love you too.

--

**Gah, sorry it's so long. I kind of like the ending for once. I **_**am **_**the Queen of Bad Endings, after all. Well, thanks for reading the…two-shot. XD**

**xx-Starfall-xx**


End file.
